The Leo Valdez Files
by The Amber Author
Summary: Esperanza Valdez, great woman though we know she was, apparently didn't have time to warn Leo that most people don't take kindly to being spied on. As a consequence of this, Leo and his faithful camera set out on a noble mission- find out what every Camper Leo knows keeps secret and/or what annoys them most.


The camera shifted, viewing a beautiful background with green grass. A devilish grinning face came into place and ruined the peaceful, perfectly innocent scenery.

"Yo, people of the future!" Leo grinned. "Leo Valdez here...This may be after a thousand years...in case you people of the future don't know, this is called a camera- I don't know if you're going through a zombie apocalypse or a robot revolution, but it's the 21st century here, and you have the pleasure of being audience to the very first Ep. of the Leo Valdez files!" Leo's grin only grew wider as he seemed to fidget with the camera- the scenery tilted to the side slightly. Leo relaxed.

"Ahh, that's betta." he said. "Look, you guys, I'm on a mission to find out what annoys every demigods at Camp- if you don't know what a demigod is, or what camp I'm talking about, then just forget I said anything. Anyway, they say to start with the hardest and get it over- and I'm not only starting with the hardest, but the scariest, too! Ta-ta-dum! Ah, hold on."

A black surface covered the camera- but sounds could still be heard. There was an unmistakable sound of air swishing, which must have meant Leo turned the camera around. A few footsteps, a door opening and closing, and a lot of shifting and moving about.

The black surface covering the camera was lifted, but that proved very little good- you could hardly see.

"I'm in a closet, in the Hades Cabin." Leo whispered dramatically. "Two inhabitants- Nico di Angelo and Hazel Levesque- my advice, don't _ever _mess with them. Ever. See, Nico's really cool, but he has this things with raising the dead, and he goes somewhere everyday- no one knows where, really. See what I mean? Creepy Mystery! And Hazel. Well, she's really nice, too, but she keeps this thing in her cabin that no one can identify, either, and the latest theory is that she and Nico are raising an alien robo-dinosaur which is a hatching egg and-" A door opened again; Leo's voice dropped to a whisper as he titled the camera. "Ah..here they come...hang on- being the awesome son of Hephaestus I am, I managed to install a see-through program. Here." The view turned a murky grey before clearing up- a black haired teen, with a girl who had cinnamon-colored hair stepped in. The boy had something in his hands...

"Ooh, guys, this is the secret! Part of it, anyway- it's in Nico's hand...It's...hang on in there, I'll zoom." The scenery zoomed forward- Nico froze and move his eyes around, clasping what was in his hands tighter- Leo couldn't see what it was clearly/

"Nico, is there anything wrong?" Hazel asked, holding the brown bag in her hands tighter.

"Nothing..." Nico muttered. "Just thought I heard something."

Leo moved the camera to Hazel- she was smiling. She sighed and took something out of her brown bag. "You're getting paranoid." she told him. "What, are you afraid someone's going to break down the door and get a look at some Nugget and 'Flurry?"

"Nugget and Flurry?" Leo muttered to the camera. "Huh. Looks like they _are _hiding something after all..."

"Ha, ha." *Leo moved the view to Nico* "Really Hazel, it's not that it matters. I'm just keeping up with my reputation- I mean, have you heard the rumors about us keeping alien robo-dianasaurs? Seriously, what's with Travis and Connor. It's not like anyone's believing them.

*Here the attention was on Hazel* "Oh, quit it, Nico. You shouldn't let people make rumors like that- even if you enjoy the tension of it."

Nico, who was now the center of recording, smirked evilly. "It's fun." he demanded. "I mean, imagine if they know the truth. That would ruin my creepy-necromancer-reputation."

Leo caught Hazel's eye-roll on tape at the last moment. "Fine, then, have it your way- you can imagine having some alien robo-dino for lunch if you want, while I-"

Here Leo's excitement was sky rocketing- he was really excited. But he let himself pout as he noticed Hazel cut herself off- they were getting to the really juicy parts. Why did she stop?

"Nico...Nico, I think your cupboard's on fire..." Hazel muttered-Leo froze, and touched his hair- sure enough, he felt the warm tickle of flames, but he had no time to come up with an extremely complicated escape idea because at that moment, a very shocked Nico di Angelo threw the door of the cupboard open, and out came Leo, falling.

Hazel squealed and tried to stomp on the flames that were now on the floor as Nico emptied the contents of whatever he had in his hand- with some undefined luck, Leo managed to catch this all on tape.

A new sensation of dread filling him, Leo slowly raised his head, and unconsciously, the camera with it.

Nico, who was now absolutely livid, was trembling with fury- his hand shook, and his muscles contracted around the empty large-sized Oreo McFlurry ice-cream. Hazel, who had stopped stopping on the flames, had a small box of McDonald's Chicken Nuggets which she dropped on the floor, indignant.

Both the Children of Hades/Pluto were more than a little annoyed.

Leo looked up at them almost innocently. "Erm...Oops?"

-O-

Percy and Annabeth were patrolling Camp Half-Blood for the weekly Cabin-Inspection, talking among each other and laughing. Suddenly, a loud noise issued from the Hades Cabin, and both the senior Cabins quickly turned their attention to it-

**"VALDEZ!" **

Percy turned to Annabeth is surprise. "Do we even _want _to know?" he whispered.

"Nuh uh," Annabeth muttered, and they continued inspecting somewhat nonchalantly.


End file.
